


Reverse Begging

by onlyhereforellick



Series: Fictober ‘19 [7]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Mental health awareness?, S17 Spoilers, fictober 19, night terrors/insomnia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 08:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20945627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyhereforellick/pseuds/onlyhereforellick
Summary: Pressing a kiss to the top of her head he vowed to be there for her. Not just when it was convenient to him, no. He’d be there for every last bit of it—the fun times, the sad times, the strong times, the raw times.





	Reverse Begging

**Author's Note:**

> fictober ‘19; prompt 6: “No, and that’s final.”
> 
> you can’t tell me Ellie has gone through this past season completely unscathed...

Ellie vowed she’d never be that woman. The one that embarrassingly begged a man for something long after they should’ve taken the hint. Ellie was an independent woman, she’d never need to  _ beg _ for anything, especially not this.

Or so she thought. 

Some how she found herself reverse begging,  _ was that a thing? _ she wondered. They’d been at it for quite a while now, the bit of alcohol in her system enough to lower her inhibitions and usual more put-together demeanor. That must be why she was now two hours into ‘begging’ Nick to leave her place. 

One glass of wine too many during their monthly movie night—it was her turn to host—had led to a slight slip up. When Nick mentioned it was getting late and he should go so Ellie could get some sleep, she miiiiight have offhandedly said it didn’t matter, she can’t sleep anyways. Like a bloodhound, Nick has zeroed in on her words immediately. She knew he wouldn’t drop it if she didn’t give the dog a bone, but she didn’t want to divulge too much. Nick was still acting somewhat closed off to her, and frankly, she wasn’t quite sure where they stood in their friendship. Opening up about her night terrors and insomnia would be liking opening up the door to her heart, and that was a risk she wasn’t willing to take. Because if that door slammed shut, she knew- she knew it would send the walls crumbling. And she’d be left open, raw, exposed, hurt. No, it wasn’t a risk she could afford to take right now. So instead of giving Nick every distressing detail of her current sleeping—or lack there of—situation, she played it off. Gave him a nonchalant, “oh you know, just a few nightmares.”

Too bad Nick could see right through her facade. At first, he insisted on knowing more;  _ that _ she shot down quickly and effectively with a hard no and a glare. He took the hint and dropped it. Sort of. Now he insisted on staying the night. Which is how Ellie now found herself reverse begging. 

She really never imagined it: begging Nick  _ not _ to stay. And yet...here she was, begging the man who she saw as so much more than a friend to  _ not  _ stay the night in fear he’d see the vulnerable side of Eleanor Bishop. The side that threatened to crush her if he ever rejected her. 

“Nick, really. It’s fine! I’m fine, I’ve been fine. Really, you don’t have to stay,” she pleaded. 

“Ellie—“ he warned, “the stress of Ziva’s resurfacing is weighing on you to the point of nightmares. For what, the past couple days or so you haven’t slept? That’s not okay, Ellie.”

She hoped to hell her face didn’t give her away the moment he said it had been a few days.

“It’s been longer hasn’t it?” Nick deadpanned. “How long, Ellie?” He stared at her, looking like he had all the time in the world to wait for her answer. 

She didn’t answer, she couldn’t. Just let her eyes fall slowly to the floor to watch her feet. 

“A week? A couple weeks? A month? A few months, El?” his voice got more and more strained as he continued until it finally cracked on the last one. No doubt he saw the most imperceptible shift to the set in her brow when he hit the nail of the head. 

She hadn’t slept in many, many months. A couple days before last Christmas, to be exact. Still looking at the door, she took a nervous gulp to try and calm her racing fears. Nick could not know, he wouldn’t want her damaged goods. He already didn’t even want to be around her, and up until now he thought she was fine, normal even; he definitely wouldn’t want this shell of a human she’d become, overrun by fear and exhaustion. 

With more finality in his tone than she’d heard in a while, if ever, Nick spoke again breaking through her thoughts, “I’m staying.”

Again with the reverse begging, although it seemed futile at this point, “Nick, no—“

“No, and that’s final. I’m staying Ellie, whether you want me to or not. I’ll sleep on the couch, but I’m not letting you go another night waking up terrified and alone. That’s not what-“ Nick paused, almost like he couldn’t bring himself to finish the saying. “That’s not what friends do,” he repeated with a slightly sour look to his face. As if that last sentence brought up a bad taste in his mouth. 

_ Yeah because he doesn’t like you, you’re just his coworker, nothing more.  _ Ellie would do well to remind herself of that tonight. 

With a huff, Ellie relented, “Fine, you can stay. On the couch.”

Nick nodded and immediately began to make his ‘bed,’ turning his back on her and effectively ending that conversation. Looks like she was gaining a roommate tonight after all...

———

The second he heard her screams, he awoke with a jolt of panic. The screams of terror, pure terror, would be forever etched into his memory. Throwing back the afghan, he rushed into her bedroom to find her amongst the chaotic sheets, hair in every direction, a fresh sheen of sweat on her brow, and fists clutching the bed to each side of her. Eyes slammed shut she continued to mumble in her sleep, almost as if pleading with whatever nightmare held her captive. 

Slowly making his way over, careful to not make too much noise as to not startle her awake, he reached the opposite side of the bed. Stripping himself of his shirt—telling himself it was to keep her from getting hot with too many layers—he eased onto the bed and under the sheets. Ellie started to jerk back and forth all while gripping fistfuls of linen, and the mumbling became more forceful shouts. Incoherent altogether, but keywords stood out and he quickly pieced her fears together—those close calls, that big secret, the burden of everyone’s disappointment—it had done a number on her. 

His heart sank for this strong, independent woman who felt the need to hide this from him. He’d certainly failed as a partner and friend if he missed something as gut-wrenchingly awful as this. Gently releasing her death grip on the sheets, he pulled her to his chest. Slowly he felt the tension in her shoulders release. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head he vowed to be there for her. Not just when it was convenient to him, no. He’d be there for every last bit of it—the fun times, the sad times, the strong times, the raw times. A sigh escaped her right then as she settled in even closer, a hand over his pounding heart. And he swore he’d heard, “Nick,” whispered through those pretty lips as he watched his incredibly resilient woman finally drift off into a deep sleep, a genuine smile on his face for the first time in way too long. 


End file.
